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Reasons to Feel No Shame About Your Divorce

Posted on in Divorce

Reasons to Feel No Shame About Your DivorceSome people are still ashamed of getting divorced, even though divorce has become more socially acceptable during the past 50 years. People feel less obligated to stay in a marriage due to religious beliefs or fear of being ostracized as a single parent. However, they have more difficulty overcoming the misconception that divorce makes them failures. Your marriage does not by itself determine whether you are a successful person. Instead, divorce may be a step towards a happier and more fulfilling life.

Defining Your Marriage

The quality of a marriage depends on more than its longevity. Yet, people tend to label a marriage that ends in divorce as a failure. A marriage is usually a mix of good and bad. Even though your marriage ended with a failure to stay together, it may have been successful in:

  • Giving you your children;
  • Creating happy memories;
  • Expanding your circle of family and friends; and
  • Supporting you as you entered and advanced through your career.

You can regret how your marriage ended while still appreciating the positives that came from it. It would not be fair or accurate to think of your experience as a failure.

Separating Your Marriage from Yourself

Your marriage may have been the most important relationship you have entered, but you have other relationships that define you. You are a parent, a friend, a co-worker, and many other identities. You can also meet a new romantic partner with whom you will have a long-term relationship or marriage. As devastating as your divorce is, it means the end of only one relationship and will not define you for the rest of your life unless you allow it.

Learning from Your Divorce

You can identify the problems in your marriage that eventually led to your divorce without blaming yourself or your spouse for those mistakes. There are marital problems that you can neither foresee nor avoid. You should apply what you have learned to your future relationships, such as:

  • What qualities you desire in a partner;
  • Whether you need to know your partner better before marrying;
  • How your behavior affects your relationship; and
  • How to handle conflict in your relationship.

Learning from your divorce will increase your chance of success in your next relationship.

Starting Point

Fear of being a failure should not prevent you from getting a divorce when you know your marriage is unhappy or unhealthy. A Kane County divorce attorney at Geneva Family Lawyers can help you feel comfortable and satisfied with the process. To schedule a free consultation, call 331-588-6611.


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